Why I can never wear shorts in public with hairy legs
Before we discuss social standards and body image issues, let me just explain how much waxing hurts. It is literally ripping hair off from under your skin. And since that is one of the best hair removal techniques available, I step into the salon every month (mostly) willingly. And I will keep cringing at the thought of my next salon visit over picking a walk down the street in my favourite pair of shorts, with hair on my legs. Waxing is a pain, literally, and it’s not cheap either.
I’m not the only one who is irrational about this. Nearly every woman around the world uses some or the other form of hair removal. And it costs us around USD 10,000 on an average. So why do all women subject themselves to this physical torture for social acceptance? Let me try to explain through my experiences.
I grew up in the late 90s, a very fortunate period indeed. The country had opened its gates to the world, and there was an influx of technology, culture, and… beauty standards. As I grew up, lipsticks were all the rage. I remember wanting to wear one so badly throughout my school years. It’s a funny thought because if I think of the reaction my school teachers would have had at us wearing lipsticks, it makes my day.
And of course, my other obsession was body hair. Since the first moment I became aware of my body, I hated my body hair so much. I blamed my genetics and luck, because what does a 14-year-old know about everyone else’s bodies? I thought I was the only one who looked like a sasquatch and every other girl looked like those on the billboards and television. The few hair removal ads that were up back then (or the ones that air now) showed actresses with no body hair ridding themselves of invisible hair in animated versions.
Irrespective of this deep-seated hatred for my own body, I never could get rid of my body hair (Not for the lack of trying.) My mother was of the strong opinion that how I look is utterly irrelevant to what I am. Wise mother of mine. But I couldn’t deal with this back then, I just wanted to be hairless so bad. On top of that, I used to swim throughout my teenage years. (Yep, mortified looks by everyone around! Or so I thought) It wasn’t helping me that by the time any girl around me was 15, they were hairless because “grooming and hygiene.”
So I sneaked everything from razors to hair removal creams and pumice stones (ouch), just to fit in. Being a teenager is tough guys! And being an active teenager on the swim team? God save you from the bullies!
Cut to when I entered junior college. I was deemed old enough to get my body hair removed. And Oh My God, it was amazing! No one gave me weird looks anymore. I could wear shorts, dresses, and just be. So did I stop fussing about my body hair then?
Nope.
Think about the girl who has spent her life hating herself for her body hair. She is someone who considers herself a feminist, and yet, has given in to the years of social conditioning. That is every girl around you. You think we like getting hair follicles plucked out of our skin pores? Sure, it feels soft for a week after, but that is no reason to subject yourself to cruelty. And yet I do, like everyone else.
One incident that I vividly recall from when I was 16, is that one of my very best friends (male) offered an unsolicited piece of information as we were all talking. He mentioned how any girl with hairy legs disgusts him. Not that he preferred hairless legs, not that he didn’t like body hair: But that every girl in her natural form disgusts him. And because I was 16, and because I was insecure AF, I assumed that in order for me to be desirable to any man, I need to have a hairless body.
It has stayed with me over the years irrespective of me trying to shrug it off vehemently. Although, a breakthrough happened for me when in one of her Instagram posts Rega Jha, the ex-editor in chief for Buzzfeed India, not only spoke of but shared pictures of her hairy legs. This was a woman I adored for being smart, intelligent, funny, and pretty. If she, with her work being in the literal spotlight, could brave to go to work with hairy legs, maybe I could too?
Nope.
The truth is that I have come a long way towards accepting my body hair. I even go all the way to my apartment parking in shorts all ungroomed. But I am nowhere close to stepping into a social situation with hairy legs. I am still that girl who was bullied by her teammates for being hairy, and still the girl who wants to fit in. I still see the media glamorizing Taylor Swift over Willow Smith. Although it is still a huge deal that Willow is breaking the conditioning to let her body hair be.
So ladies, I am sorry if I have ever looked at you odd for being unshaven. And men, will you understand for once that we come with the hair and that it is creepy to desire completely hairless (prepubescent looking) women?
P.s. I’m gonna try stepping out soon.
P.p.s In Pune, that’s a scandal.
